Thursday, April 30, 2015

My Mother


My mother’s name was Rosemary and she was one of the bravest people I know. She recently died at the young age of 76. She was my best friend and champion. Many family and friends would describe her as feisty, not one to back down. Since October of last year I have been taking care of her. She had stage 4 kidney cancer. In the beginning we spent our days shuffling back and forth between doctor visits with hope and thoughts about where we would eat lunch that day. That period quickly changed. During her chemo treatments we sat together and talked about family and the news. My mom loved to talk politics. That quickly changed too. Doctor visits and treatment became almost daily. We both became more quiet and reflective. I felt angry about her disease. We would go straight from her home and then back again. Her strength quietly ebbing away.

The day my mom decided to stop all treatments is the day I believe she decided that she was not giving up but that she accepted the inevitable. She wanted to take control of whatever time she had left. I wanted her to keep fighting the fight as I was not ready. But she stood her ground and I had to respect her wishes. The disease took over so quickly. How she suffered in the end. My heart is broken, I miss her so……………
Cheri Savory Spoon
Cheri Savory Spoon

Mysavoryspoon was first started in 2010 as a way to journal recipes that I had collected from cookbooks, magazines, family and friends. Most everything was savory, using legumes and whole grains. Along the way I discovered a love for baking. Now a couple times a month you might see some type of sweet pie or treat.

80 comments:

  1. i am so very sorry, cheri. you suffered right along with her - but i know she was grateful to have you there. bless you as you grieve.

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    1. Thank you Theresa, I can't thank you enough for your support. You are so wonderful, thank you, thank you!

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you were there for her throughout.

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    1. Thank you Lisa, I do feel honored to be there throughout but I am so sad. The process can diminish you in so many ways.

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  3. Cheri: I have been thinking about you. Since you haven't posted much recently, I wondered if your mother had taken a turn for the worse. And now I know that my hunch was right. I am deeply sorry for your loss. It may not seem that way now, but the pain you feel will subside, and the love you hold for her will only grow as you make your way through the world without her. Even then, she'll be with you. Please accept my deepest condolences and my support through this process. Dena

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    1. Thank you Dena, somehow I knew that you would understand from the beginning. My mom and and had a lot of unfinished business but in the end that had no importance at all.

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  4. I'm so very sorry Cheri. Thank you for sharing the final part of your mother's journey with us. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you Peggy, I am doing better.......

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  5. Cheri, you are brave and very compassionate to share your Mother's passing with us. Rick and I send our deepest sympathies on your loss... continue to relive your Mother / Daughter memories...

    Sandra

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    1. Thank you Sandra, Mother's day was hard for me and as I suspect for you too. Take care.

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  6. This is just so sad. I agree that 76 is too young. You were so good to her with everything you did to help her with such a tragic and awful disease. She is at peace now but I know for those left behind, the grieving and loss is immense. Sending lots of love to you and your family xx

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    1. Thanks Charlie, you are always so great with words....

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  7. Oh Cheri. Life is so painful. I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were a fabulous daughter and I am sure your mother recognized that. It takes a long time to feel better, but it does happen one day at a time and even a few steps back. If it makes it easier tell us more about your memories together. And if not, know that we are here for you. Wish I could give you a giant hug.

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    1. Thank you Abbe, you words are so kind......having a blog is such a great way to feel cared for.

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  8. Oh, Cheri, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself - I can tell you are missing her terribly. xo

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  9. Cheri I am so so sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. Please accept my condolences, there is nothing one can say at a time like this really, I know the pain you are experiencing. I am truly sorry.

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    1. Thank you Suzanne, you are so wonderful and I know you are going through so much yourself.

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  10. Very sorry to hear the news Cheri. I will continue to pray for you and your family during this sad and difficult time.

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  11. I am very sorry to hear about this Cheri, my deepest condolences, and I am sending you and your family all my thoughts and love.

    Hugs,
    Uru

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    1. Thanks Uru, you are so sweet, hope uni is treating you well.

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  12. Deepest condolence, i think she lives within a great memories of her.....
    Dedy@Dentist Chef

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  13. Thank you for sharing this with us, and I wish you a long life (hugs) Tandy

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  14. Dear Cheri, so sorry to hear the loss of your beloved mother. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You take care of yourself and I pray that God to give you the strength, peace and courage to overcome this difficult times that you're going through.

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    1. Thanks Karen, appreciate the kind words. Take care....

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  15. Dear Cheri, my heartfelt condolences, dear friend! If there is anything at all I could do for you - maybe send you a little something, please do not hesitate at all to contact me - you have got my email...
    Thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug and many good thoughts,
    Andrea

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    1. Thank you Andrea for all you have said and done, you are truly wonderful.

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  16. Cheri, what a beautiful tribute to your wonderful mother. My sincerest condolences for your loss. I can only imagine what you are suffering. My mom and I are extremely close and speak daily.
    Sending you much healing love and energy.
    :-) Mandy xoxo

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    1. Thanks Mandy, my mom and I were like that too...

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  17. Cheri - I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, remembering when I went through this with my mother. I know how hard this is, and am glad you and your mother had so much time together as she left this world. My heart and deepest sympathy are with you and your family... warm and loving hugs, David

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    1. Thank you David, your kind words mean so much to me, so thoughtful......

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  18. Cheri, Your searing honesty and sharing is heart-wrenching and beautiful. Just like you and your mother. Thank you, always, for reminding me of the priorities of Life...Deep loving and living does seem to sting the most but it's also the richest <3...You are in my prayers <3

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    1. Thank you Kim, you are so right, deep loving and living is a great way to live, but a hard way to die.

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  19. I am so sorry Cheri. My heart is with you. Thank you for showing us the priorities in our lives...

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  20. Your mom looked beautiful, Cheri. She would love you to remember all the good things, as you just wrote. Thank you for sharing this with us xx

    Julie & Alesah
    Gourmet Getaways xx

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    1. Thanks Julie and Alesah appreciate the kind words.

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  21. Oh, Cheri I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful picture of her - such love you had to care for her all the way through. Prayers for strength and peace during this difficult time.

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    1. Thank you Mindy, you have been such a wonderful friend to me....loved, loved the spoon.

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  22. Cheri I am so so sorry. Hope God give you strength in this hard time. I feel your pain. My best wishes.

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    1. Thank you Ami, appreciate your kind words.

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  23. So sorry for you! Losing one's mother is hard. My mom died from cancer a few years ago. Miss her always, but particularly at this time of the year.

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    1. Thanks John, so sorry for your loss, missing a mom is always so hurtful, appreciate your kind words.

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  24. I'm so sorry, Cheri. She was lucky to have you to help her during that difficult time. Heartfelt condolences.

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    1. Thank you Susan, I hope she felt loved, towards the end I hope she understood I was there.

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  25. Losing a loved one isn't easy and a mother, more so. I too lost my Mum to cancer and I believe I know what you & the family must have been through. No words can console... Sorry for your loss my friend... May God give you the strength to bear this irrepairable loss.

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    1. Thank you Taruna, what wonderful words to share with me, so sorry for your loss as well.

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  26. Oh Cheri. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can feel the love you have for your mom. I hope there are a lot of memories to sustain you during this difficult time. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you Monica, yes we have so many wonderful memories....she was a pistol.

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  27. Cheri, so sorry for your loss .
    My prayers are with you, may God give you strength during this hard time.
    I know that words cannot console but you were a wonderful daughter, giving your mum all love and dedication she deserved.

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    1. Thank you Daniela, I did try to show her so much love, I hope she felt it.

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  28. dear Cheri,
    i am so very sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you Lan, I appreciate your kind words.

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  29. I'm so sorry. It's amazing the strength our Mother's show and pass along to us.

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  30. I'm so so sorry Cheri, my deepest heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
    My heart is with you!

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  31. I'm so sorry for your loss Cheri. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

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  32. I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, Cheri! My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers in the weeks and months ahead.

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    1. Thank you Shari for your thoughtfulness.

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  33. Oh Cheri, I am so sorry to hear about your mom...I know that no words can easy the pain...my thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you Juliana, appreciate the kind words.

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  34. Cheri. I sat here thinking how wonderful these recipes are and then scrolled down and read your post about your mom. Your experience sounds exactly as mine was 10 years ago. Word for word I relate. I know too well how it feels to know you must carry on with life and at the same time feel so saddened by the loss of your mom. My thoughts are with you and I hope you find peace and healing while you are spending time in Oregon. xx Seana

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    1. Thank you Seana, I appreciate your kindness. I miss her so, I guess time will help. It's so nice to be back in Oregon.

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  35. Cheri, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. That is such a hard thing to go through. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you Nancy, I really appreciate it.

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  36. I'm streaming tears as I read this Cheri - I know exactly what you went through, I went through it with my mom so many years ago and the pain is still so fresh...my thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you Sue, I appreciate your kind words......so sorry about your mom.

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  37. Oh, Cheri, losing a loved and cherished soul mate, whether spouse, parent, child, or dear friend is hard - that's the best word for it, just damn hard. I certainly respect (and, salute) your Mother's decision to fight for a quality of Life on her own terms. That was a brave decision and obviously the right one for her. Thank you for at least accepting it if not particularly understanding it. Your summer in Oregon will be a good time and a good place to grieve and heal as you can. That never ends, by the way. I suspect your memory bank is packed with mother/daughter good ones. As Life goes on for you, and it must, you'll be pulling up those everyday. Sending love and strength and support from Colorado.

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    1. Thank you Mary for your beautiful and thoughtful words. During the summer when in Oregon I use to call her every day, I sure miss that.

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  38. Oh no Cheri, I am so sad for you and your loss. Our Moms are so very special to us, aren't they? I'm reading Tandia by Bryce Courtenay and in it he says 'sorrow has its season'. Its a novel set in South Africa and I believe that is a common saying there. I try to remind myself of that often as I come to grips with the losses in my life....

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    1. Thank you Guyla, that certainly seems true, appreciate your kind words.

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  39. Hi Cheri ,
    so sorry to hear of your loss , no words can say how I feel , I have you and your family in my prayers to stay string and I have also put you and family on my prayer group list to stay strong and to remember your dear mother will always be with you in your heart . Thank you for sharing something so very close to you .... Nee :)

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  40. I am so sorry for your loss..

    what a dear dear daughter you have been♥
    I understand the words you say about having lost your best friend.
    x

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